Monday, October 22, 2012

Missing Mother

  This is October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I have been thinking about my sweet mother, taken too soon.  It has been 15 years since breast cancer claimed her life, but I still miss her.  My girls and I are participating in the Race for the Cure again next weekend -- my oldest is actually racing -- Sara and I are more likely "Strolling for the Cure" 'cause they would have to call 911 if I tried to run it! Anyway, Sara especially has been reminding me of the cause, as she has been cutting out dozens of pink ribbons and butterflies for a door decoration at the daycare where she works. She also sat down last night and made pretty pink bracelets for us.
   My mother wrote verses and prayers and thoughts down all the time -- I have many journals that she wrote over the years, and they have been such a blessing to me.  But something odd happened this week.  I was messing with the computer cords because I couldn't get it to connect to the Internet, and I found a little yellow dusty piece of note paper down in that little space.  I have no idea how it got there, but I smiled when I recognized Mother's handwriting. And is this a reminder from God or what?  "Those who live in the Lord never see each other for the last time." What a thought!! and on the back was another good message.

"Whatever comes to any of us is sent or allowed by God."
I think this is what helped her face this terrible illness with such faith -- she once told me that she knew that hundreds of people were praying for her, and she knew God heard the prayers, so she just had to accept His plan, even if she was not healed from the cancer.  I remember standing in the hall at the hospital as they wheeled her off for the mastectomy.  She had to take her teeth out -- she hated that -- so she had the sheet pulled up over her mouth.  But her eyes were bravely smiling, and she gave us a "thumbs up" sign as she saw us there.

I am grateful for this little scrap of paper -- and for the message of hope that it conveys. I think it appeared as a God wink -- reminding me that He still loves us and has a plan that we may not understand, but He still gives us "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow -- it is well with my soul."