Tribute to My Mother

     It is Mother's Day Weekend, and I am thinking about my mother.  She died in 1997 -- 18 years ago -- but I still miss her.  In 1996, when she was 70 and battling breast cancer again, I heard a "Focus on the Family" radio broadcast about writing a tribute to your parents.  I took it to heart and wrote a tribute to my mom, had it framed, and read it out loud to her. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to me, because that was our last Christmas together.  Later I wrote one for my dad, then helped Sam write one for his mom. I decide to share it with anyone who reads my "Godwinks" even though some of the references will mean nothing to those who weren't there. But I would encourage anyone who still has parents to think about writing a tribute while they can still appreciate it.
                                          To My Angel Mother -- A Tribute
    The Bible says,"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."  You said this for as long as I can remember. I can still hear the sound of the kitchen drawer being jerked out as you reach for the spatula to remind us.And I can't say that I loved that sound -- in fact, it still gives me a shiver -- but I will be eternally grateful for the lesson that it taught me. I learned that your word was good and that there would be consequences for any bad behavior. This was the beginning of a lifetime of training me, firmly, but always lovingly.
    You taught me practical things -- cooking, making the most of little, child care -- then let me practice on my brothers!  I learned responsibility at a young age when you trusted me to cook supper and watch the boys. You always made me feel grown up and encouraged me with praise for everything I did.
    You taught me values that I hope to pass on to my own children.  You always said, "Anything worth doing is worth doing well."  I wish I had always listened to that advice -- but I am still trying. You brought me to church and taught classes and had parties and activities for all the kids at church.I KNEW that nothing was more important to you than your love for God -- I knew by the way you read your Bible early in the morning, shared your faith with friends... and even strangers--- ad passed that love on to the next generation, and the next.  I will always be in awe of  your faithfulness to God, church, kids, elderly, and family.
    You have amazed me over the years with your creativity -- you have always been able to make something out of nothing. How many times did we suddenly remember that we needed a science project, Halloween costume, etc. just as the bus went up the road.You could always come up with something!  And you can look in an almost empty refrigerator and come up with a delicious meal before I can make up a grocery list. We may not have had much, but I bet nobody else's mother could make grits and ketchup into a meal. And who else would dream up all the fun things we have done over the years? I still can't believe that you convinced Dottie Rambo to come to Red House! Or use an apple core for a washcloth!
     At Christmas I remember taking a doll or game to some child who wasn't getting much for Christmas __ kindness and consideration for others is another lesson you taught.  I know you have cut your daffodils to share with others, and you are always on of the "cheerful givers" that God loves. You look for ways to make people happy, and it is no wonder that you are loved by so many.
     You taught us to appreciate nature -- I loved the hikes we took to see wild flowers -- how did you learn so much? You always point out things that I would miss -- clouds, sunsets, wild flowers, birds -- and no mother could have appreciated a bouquet of dandelions as much as you did.
     You encouraged me to learn and expand my horizons -- even when it meant that I was so engrossed in a book that I really wasn't much help around the house. You sent me to camp and college, even though you could have insisted that I stay home ad help out.  I know now what a sacrifice that was, but I don't remember one complaint about the expense -- I just remember that you seemed proud of me, and that gave me the confidence to keep going.
    When I married Sam, you loved him, too -- and because of your example of commitment to your own marriage -- for better or worse-- I made a lifetime commitment, too, with confidence and hope.  What a heritage I have!
       When I was about to give birth to Sara, you swallowed your fear of flying and came all the way to Alaska to help by taking care of TJ... and to take care of me.  Oh, the inexpressible comfort of knowing that my mother was there when I needed a mother most!!! All my life, you have come when I needed you.
       One of the hardest lessons you've taught, "Don't worry until you know there is something to worry about" is one I am still working on. But you have given me optimism, and the assurance that God is in control, so I will continue to lean hard on the Lord, no matter what is ahead. I know God has his hand on your life, and I am who I am because of what He had done through you.
     Mother, I love you and am deeply grateful for the lessons you have taught me. I still have a lot to learn, so don't stop praying for me and teaching me how to live. I am proud and thankful that you are my mother and my friend and my biggest fan.  I hope I will be the kind of mother to my children that you have been to me. Proverbs 31, Her children rise up and call her blessed" was written about you.  I am blessed because you are my mother.
Love, Ann
December 1996

A bright spot!

         It was a dreary Monday morning -- dark and cloudy as I reluctant returned to school after a wonderfully refreshing Easter break.  The forecast called for rain, and that meant no outside recess for my kindergarten class. But all of a sudden, I noticed an amazing slit of brightness through the dark clouds.  As I drove, I kept turning my head to keep track of the bright spot, and finally pulled over so I could take a picture.  By the time I got to school, the clouds had closed over the opening and hidden the sunlight that was peeping through the hole.  But I knew the sun was still there if I just had a way to open the clouds.  

        Anytime the sky looks unusual, I wonder if this could be THE DAY when Jesus comes back. And this was one of those days -- it definitely crossed my mind.  But it also reminded me that even on the darkest day, the sun (and the SON) is still there, just behind those dark clouds. The clouds seemed to be so deep, but that shiny space was just enough to let me see what was behind the cloudy curtain.

     "Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me...put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 43:3,5.

       And another bright spot in this rainy day -- I drove up to see my thyroid doctor at Baptist Hospital and my blood work and checkup were all good. No sign of recurrence of my thyroid cancer. What a great day! Thank you, God!

Fort Bragg and God

      My daughter Sara and I made a nostalgic trip to Fort Bragg, NC today.  We lived here for close to 10 years, and we took some time to drive past the places we lived and worshiped during those years.  As we reminisced, I was thinking of the way we grew spiritually at each stage of life.

     

        When Sam and I got married in 1974, I moved to Cambridge Arms Apartments in Fayetteville since Sam was serving in the Army at Fort Bragg. We started attending church together at the Main Post Chapel on the military base. I was used to going to church twice on Sunday and again on Wednesday night, so it was a little strange to only go once a week. So when the chaplain announced a home Bible study, I asked Sam if we could go.  We went, but we were surprised -- and a little intimidated --because the only others there were Col. Meeks, the head chaplain for all of Fort Bragg, his wife Alice, and the Sgt. Major of the CID, Ed King and his wife, Dot.  They were all the age of our parents and very high ranking in the Army. But they made us feel very welcome, and so our little group continued meeting and studying the Bible together.  Dot and Eddie became close friends, and they were such role models for us!  Later they moved to Washington, DC, where became the Sergeant Major of the Army CID and Dot worked in prison ministry with Chuck Colson.  And this young couple benefited greatly from both the chapel worship and the people who mentored us.

   

  

         We stayed at Fort Bragg for 2 years, then the Army moved us to Fairbanks, Alaska, where we lived for 4 years -- and our 2 daughters were born there.  When we got orders to move back to Fort Bragg, we were excited to think about renewing friendships and going back to our favorite restaurants and church.  But everything had changed during those 4 years.  Our friends had all been transferred to other places, our favorite restaurant had closed, and none of the chaplains or people we knew were there at the Main Post Chapel.  The addition of 2 children gave us a new viewpoint -- we needed a church with a strong ministry for children. We moved to a duplex on Fort Bragg, but started attending a Baptist Church in town.

   

         Our home at 108 Luzon Drive, Fort Bragg.

           This church gave us the opportunity to serve in new ways.  I taught Mission Friends, Training Union, sang in the choir, and eventually directed the children's choir. We loved the pastor and the kind people we knew there. They were so good to our children and it was a wonderful place to worship.

After 5 years, it was time for another transfer -- this time to Germany.  We were gone for 3 years, then we came back to Fort Bragg in 1989 -- just in time for our son Andrew to be born at Fort Bragg.

     

        We moved to Ashwood Circle, very close to our former church.  But while we were gone, they got a new pastor and evidently there was a split in the church and most of our friends were gone.  We attended a few times, but it just wasn't the same.  So, we found a new church called Church of the Open Door.  At this time I was home schooling, and there were several other home-schooling families attending his church. The senior pastor, Dr. Adams, was excellent.  It was during this time that Operation Desert Storm took my husband -- and many other military members of our church -- to Saudi Arabia.  It was a very difficult time for us, but Dr. Adams ministered to us so well. I still remember the sermon that gave me so much comfort. He reminded us of all the times God had taken care of us in the past, and asked us to trust in Him to take care of us all this time, too. I remember an older lady who handed me a note one  Sunday -- I didn't know her, but she just wanted me to know that she was praying for me. The girls were involved with the youth and AWANAS there, and it was the perfect church for this season of our lives.  It was during this time that my friend Linda and I renewed our friendship -- and she was a Godsend who also helped me get through the war months.

   

         Sam retired from the Army in 1991, and we moved away from Fort Bragg.  We have come back to visit a few times -- we especially like to celebrate the 4th of July here.  But this will always be a special place, full of memories and answered prayers and spiritual growth.  I am grateful for the years we spent here. Each time we came here, it was a totally different experience. But the same God has been with us, no matter where the Army sent us.

Close, but No Cigar -- or Medal -- Or Crown

         This weekend was the Sweet Adelines regional competition in Winston-Salem, NC.  We have been practicing our 2 contest songs all year.  I have gone to 3 all day Saturday coaching sessions. I had a personal voice lesson from one of the coaches. I prepared my new costume shirt. I got a manicure and painted my toenails red. I have listened to the songs in the car, in bed, and throughout the day. I even made tapes to send to my section leader so she could tell me what I needed to improve. I paid for my ticket, made a reservation at the hotel, bought a new curling iron. I was READY!

But when the chorus stood on the stage in front of the judges, I was sitting in the audience. They poured it all out, singing with passion and enthusiasm, remembering everything we had practiced, and it was wonderful.  And the judges recognized their excellence and awarded them first place in the AA Division, and 2nd place overall, with the highest score we had ever achieved.  And at the end, they all received the coveted medals to wear for the next year.

          The reason I was not on stage was a good one -- I contracted pinkeye from one of my kindergarten students, and I had laryngitis that was made worse by trying to continue teaching even when I had no voice. I thought about going on stage anyway, but I wouldn't have been able to wear my false eyelashes, and my voice was terrible. I was afraid I would squeak and cause my chorus to lose points -- or give someone else pinkeye.

           So, when they all got medals, I was a little envious. I had done all the work, prepared,and practiced. But when it came down to it, I was not on that stage, in front of the judges.  I had gone through all the motions, but I didn't take the final step.

            As I was sitting in church this morning, I started thinking about people who have gone through the motions spiritually. They may come to church faithfully-- or watch it on TV. They might teach a class or work in the nursery or sing in the choir. They might put Bible verses on Facebook or even go on mission trips. But if they have not taken the final step of surrendering their lives to Jesus, I'm afraid they will be like me. When the crowns are handed out in Heaven, they will not get one. They won't be at the celebration at all, because there is only one way, and all the church work you do means nothing when the judge looks at your life. There an old song that we used to sing at the little church I attended as a child in WV-- "when the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there." As I watched my friends put on their medals, I was glad to remember that I will be ready when I stand before God -- I will not miss out when the crowns are passed out! The blood of Christ has redeemed me, nothing good I have done.  Oh, what a Savior!

Why Were You Worried?

       My youngest child -- who is no longer a child -- went to work this week delivering pizzas for Dominos. Last night he went to work at 5:00, so I intended to wait up to hear about his evening. When he didn't get home by midnight, I checked the pizza website to see what time they closed.  It said 12:00, so I thought he'd be home soon. I wrapped up in a blanket to watch late night tv - tried to call him but no answer. Not exactly worried, but starting to pray for his safe return home. Still not home by 2:00 am, so now it was time for serious prayer.  I heard the car door shut at 2:30 -- he said they didn't close until 1:00 on weekends, then he volunteered to stay and clean up."Must have left my phone in the car," he said.

        I was so grateful for prayer -- it kept me from walking the floor, but didn't keep me from imaging wrecks, robbery, and various other dangers. I started writing "Godwinks" for this very reason -- to remind myself of the times when my Heavenly Father watched over me. And even with a long history of  answered prayers, sometimes I still forget.

       When my oldest daughter was about 3 or 4 years old, she got away from her grandma in the mall, and I nearly panicked as I started walking down the crowded mall, looking for her. I spotted her about 4 stores away, holding the hand of a security guard who was helping her look for me. I dropped to my knees and hugged her tight, telling her how worried I was.  She said,"Why were you worried? Didn't you know Jesus was with me?" 

         And so here I am, over 30 years later, still having trouble remembering that. I know His eye is on the sparrow, but when my kids are out of touch, I find that I still have a tendency to start worrying. But what would I be doing if I couldn't pray? I find comfort in the Anchor for my soul -- and dozed off several times while waiting for my baby to come home. I will not wait up for him tonight -- my Heavenly Father will keep an eye on him this night! 

Packing up Christmas

      After church tonight our music minister announced that it was time to pack up all the Christmas decorations.  Our church is so beautiful at Christmas with so many poinsettias and wonderfully decorated trees and angels -- and especially the manger scene -- I love how it looks.  Since I had a sick day and a trip out of town, I didn't feel like I had seen it all enough yet -- I am definitely not ready for Christmas to be over. But even with all the red and green packed away -- and Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus safely tucked away for another year -- I think I will try to keep that Christmas feeling in my heart for a while longer.  "Joy to the world, the Lord has come! " "Be near me Lord Jesus, I ask you to stay close by me forever and love me I pray." I'm not taking the Christmas cd out of the CD player yet! I want to sing"peace on the earth, good will to men." for a while longer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

         I have a lot of cooking and cleaning to do at home, so no time for writing. But I wanted to share this picture of my little pilgrims and wish everyone a happy thanksgiving. We are 1/3 of the way through the kindergarten year, and I am thankful for all the learning that has taken place. I am thankful for my assistant and all the other staff members who help me along the way, for the parents who share the teaching with me, and for the hugs and smiles that greet me every morning when I walk in. I am thankful for a class of children who are still excited about learning and coming to school.  Everything is a little sweeter because I know we are retiring after this year, and this is the last time for everything -- like making all those pilgrim hats -- thank you, Mrs. Austin! 

Slow Down, Remember, Give Thanks

     It's time to get the turkey out of the freezer and let it start thawing -- only 2 more days of school this week! Lots of traffic in town and a long line at the fast food place yesterday-- people are busy with Christmas shopping. I need to make a list of food to prepare for Thursday's meal, a list for Christmas, and start the testing at school while decorating for the holidays. Amid all this busy-ness, I was reminded at church this evening that I need to slow down, remember, and give thanks.  At the end of a message about the 10 lepers who were healed by Jesus -- and only one stopped to give thanks -- Pastor Tom asked us to write something that we were thankful for on a paper leaf. As I started writing, I soon realized that there was not near enough room on that leaf to write all the things I am thankful for.

      So this evening I decided to do just that -- slow down, remember, and give thanks for the many, many blessings I have.  I am thankful that when I was a little girl about 11 years old, my heart was stirred during a revival at a little church in West Virginia and I knew I needed a Savior. I am thankful for my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents who worshiped and served at that little church, and for all the old saints who prayed for me and encouraged me as I grew up. I have sweet memories of those days. Thank You, God.

       I am thankful for the sacrifices my family made to make college possible for me. I got to go to West Virginia University where I found a new church family. I graduated with a degree in elementary education -- what a blessing that has been! Thank You, God.

       Church camp -- EvUnBreth Acres -- was another big influence in my life. I am so thankful for my summers there where my faith and circle of friends grew. I met one of my best lifetime friends there, and I have many memories of feeling so close to God in that beautiful location. Thank You, God.

        And then there was the mission trip where I met my future husband --- I could never thank God enough for the man he chose for me. To love and be loved by him has been the greatest blessing of my life. And  our 3 children -- words can't express my gratitude for the privilege of being their mom. Thank You, God.

         My churches -- and there have been many since we have moved around with the military -- have all been such a blessing. From the Army chapel where we worshipped as newly weds -- to the churches where my children were baptized and we first taught and served -- to the church in the town where we finally settled after the Army -- all have given us a family and friends and made our faith grow.

           I can see that my trip down memory lane could barely scratch the surface of my list of things I am thankful for. A good job, precious friends, my brothers and cousins, nephews and nieces, aunts and uncles, healing from cancer and Sam's heart attack, opportunity to live and travel in Europe, mission trips, my chorus, scripture, and about a million answered prayers --Thank You, God!

      

Love Lifted Me

    When I was young -- a long time ago -- my family liked to sing in the car. I don't know if it was because we didn't have a working radio or not, but I learned to harmonize in the car with my parents. The song I remember best was " Love Lifted Me." I've been thinking about that song since last weekend when I went to West Virginia for Bridge Day.  The New River Gorge Bridge is the location of a big festival where base jumpers parachute off the bridge. It made me nervous just to watch! But they seemed to trust their parachute completely and stretched out their arms and jumped.

      I was thinking about how God has lifted me through many difficult times when I trusted Him enough to let go of my worries and just believe what the Bible teaches. "The eternal God is your refuge. And underneath are the everlasting arms." Psalm 5

     My daughter went to a funeral this week -- she was touched to see the faith of the mother who was burying her young son.  She saw the mother lift her hands in praise to God, even though I'm sure she was heartbroken. The marvelous peace that passes understanding is something that I have experienced myself, but I can't really explain. 

      Today I got the results of my blood test that I had last week.  Since I had a treatment for the recurrence of thyroid cancer last year, I have to get checked every few months to make sure it is really gone. And it is! My levels are totally back to normal, after the sky high reading I had last year.  I am happy, and glad I did not waste time worrying! The everlasting arms continue to hold me, just like they always have. "Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come. 'Tis grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home."

Today's Good Thing

    My friend, Kathy Clay, was buried today. That was NOT today's good thing.
     Kathy was one of the first women I met when we started attending Concord Baptist Church in 1996.  She had been diagnosed with breast cancer around that time, but she recovered and we all thought it was history. We talked and she asked for prayer when she had a follow up appointment. Since I had a bout with cancer, too, she knew that I understood the uneasy waiting every time there was a test. She had a lot of good years with no problem -- but then there was that test that did not have the results we wanted to hear. The cancer was back. And all the treatments and chemo and doctors could not make it go away. But through it all, she kept her faith in God and was a blessing to everyone. She came to church every time she felt well enough and was an active member in our "women of Hope" organization and the church choir. She wrote sweet comments on Facebook and was so loved by her family and friends. I already miss her -- we all will miss her.
      But when I spoke with her daughter, Jessica, yesterday, she told me about her mother's journals. Kathy had written in her journals for many, many years. And every entry started with "Today's good thing..."   Even when she was suffering, she was writing about something good every day.  I have been thinking about that all day.  What a difference it would make if we daily looked for the good things that happened! Kathy made a difference in many lives, but those 3 words --- "Today's good thing" --- will continue to make a difference in my life. I intend to follow her example and look for the good every day.
      Today's good things were many hugs from my kindergarten kids, a good doctor report, and warm handshakes from my church family. Thank you, Kathy, for the example you set.